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April 01, 2009, 4/01/2009

For every cut along my wrist area ,

I feel the pain .

For every cut along my wrist area ,

It bleeds .

For every cut along my wrist area ,

It get numbs .

For i felt the pain , the bleed dripping , the numb-ness ,

I know that i have got feelings .

I know that i'm still someone standing up straight .

Feel free to comment on my foolishness .

Because , i know very clearly what i'm doing .

For every cut i see along my wrist ,

All that flashed through my mind was a ultra big

NO .

No seems to sound harsh to me & kind of rejected .

But whatever it is ,

The pain reminded me that i'm someone who have got feelings .

So dont you ever try to push me down with your words .

But hey , did you realised that ,

You've actually pushed me hard down in the inside ?

I thought that i somehow may get some words of encouragement from you .

Because i thought it would be better for having your support .

I guess i was wrong . I guess i expect too highly of you .

And i dont know why are you so afraid to tell me what's on your mind .

Since everything is coming to a closure ,

& I have got 7 more months to go ,

I hope for a greeting from you in school & anywhere , anytime .

On the start of next year ,

I guess you will be less distracted .

& Nobody elses will ask you anymore things about RENGIE .

You wont have to hide . You dont have to avoid .

You can just be yourself , normally .

I guess i wouldnt be able to see your smiles or hear your laughter , then .

But i really hope that by doing this ,

You will be doing well in everything .

No more me , no more ditraction , nothing to hide and avoid .

Since you said that you werent really happy through out the whole of 8months ,

Then i'm really sorry for giving you such bad idea .

I'm sorry for not being able to make you feel the happiness inside .

I'm sorry for having you to spent your money .

Let me ask you one more time .

Ni You Mei You Zhen Zheng De Kai Xin Guo ?

Wo Shi Bu Shi Ying Gai Ba Bu Zai Shu Yu Wo De Dong Xi Huan Gei Ni ?

With that , i wish you success ahead .

Yes , i'm removing my stiches on sunday .

Who is willing to accompany me ?